Hey guys it’s Nat! Sorry I haven’t been blogging much I’ve been working! No, not officially yet. Everything is still closed, unfortunately. But the good news is that I have a lot of things to say!
As some of you know I have been working on a Fantage project for about four years now and I have found a publisher but they seemed a little suspicious so I am going to check them out! I have lots of plans for the money when I actually get it published! I am definitely going to send it to Fantage and hopefully have enough left over for other important things! I am not yet ready to reveal my new idea I had today! I will give you one hint. All the hint is is that it’s sad that most people who are disabled are not allowed to be independent and they are stuck in a place where they probably don’t want to be.
The next thing is that I have reapplied to my old apartment building! I have contacted them and the person who helped us last time why I got moved out and how to contact me if there was a problem with my application and so far I haven’t gotten anything. I also asked one of the staff members there who helped me sign the lease last year how do I know what number I am on the list. Omg, I typed leash. I was thinking about something that happened with my dog’s leash which I will tell you about soon. I have decided since I have let either someone in my family, my team, or my doctors make choices most of my life I have decided to give this a second chance. I know they mean well and it could be worse but even though I have lots of medical issues and am disabled I should be able to live independently and that’s what I want. Once I’m in there again I ain’t moving out. If you guys have any tips on how to stay calm when your family is driving you crazy by not letting you be independent when you are ready to be independent I’m ready for any suggestions!
I probably have mentioned in the past that I have had a lip movement for a while. When described I guess it sounds anxiety related. My cheekbone spasms and pulls on the area of my mouth and lips. When I searched up lip twitching it would tell me about hemifacial spasm. Hemifacial spasm is a disorder where there is nerve damage i.e. by Bells Palsy or something tumor-related. I didn’t have any of the symptoms of either of those causes so I decided it wasn’t that. Half of this result was correct because it did occur on my left side. What was not correct is that it said it started under the eye. My eye wasn’t doing anything.
A while ago I was doing some more research because I’m sort of fascinated by it and I came across a result that fits everything perfectly. In my past posts I have said my doctors claimed I was high and was missing my Cortisol but what I found proves what I had been saying all this time. I had been denying I was high because that was what resulted in the numbers I had written down. Each time I was high it went down. They were claiming I was too high for too long which is not what I have at all. I have also been keeping track of my blood sugar numbers in my Google Docs. What I remember a lot in my apartment is me having blurred vision, headaches, and tiredness. I would sometimes do the wrong dose and then want to kick myself for having done that because if I’m not too careful that could turn into an emergency. What I found was called Diabetes Metillous. The hemifacial spasm I have is caused by the insufficiency of insulin and it also says a symptom is raised blood sugar. When I am there the second time I am all prepared! I have an apartment notebook and I am going to be extremely careful! I have a notebook and I wrote everything down! We have been doing some meetings and they’re supposed to “chart my good life” i.e. My idea of a good life is different than anyone else’s. What I’m getting out of these meetings is that at the moment there is no one but me to help take over the medicine. It’s hard when your family member is reluctant to give up what they’ve done for so long. I understand their concern especially when I mess up but I’m ready to learn and to prove everyone wrong.
It was a crazy weekend. All my siblings were in town sadly my brother didn’t bring his wife or my niece down with him and my sister who lives in Washington were here in town. I don’t know if I’ve said before but my brother and his family are coming here from New York at the end of summer.
We had to move out of the childhood house because they were remodeling it so we went to a condo that my family bought about a year ago. I don’t plan to stay very long as I’ve said before.
Most of you know I have a pet. I am very close to all the pets we’ve had and our dog currently has a lot of eye allergies. I tell my family when they get bad and nothing ends up really happening. So this time around my two older sisters decided to scare me by saying if we don’t take better care or really me because the person I’m stuck with for who knows how long she was going to take him to Washington D.C. or Animal Control would take him. He also needs a haircut the poor little guy is so hot but when they tried to take him today the one they went to said the vet had to do it. I know I take good care of him. I walk him 5 times a day each time I eat my meals and more if he cries during the night/through the morning. I’m the one who convinces him to eat and drink. Of course, they use my love for animals our pets especially. I felt very sick after being very anxious about what they were saying. My stomach hurt, I was tired, I was very upset. I have agreed to prove that I can take even more care of Leo even though I know and I’ve said it that they’re saying it to the wrong person. While I wait for my dinnertime I might lie down I’m still pretty tired from being so upset. We have a fan for Leo and it’ll help cool us off too.
We went to the park where my family well put my grandma. That was fun. We went past Idlewild a amusement park we used to go to every summer like Lake Erie. We talked about taking our niece to those places but not anytime soon. My counselor says she hopes they can reopen. I do too. I really want to go back to those places. It would be fun to see it as an adult.
That’s all for my updates today! Hope you guys are staying safe and mentally well in this crazy time!