Hi guys it’s Nate! Today I have a announcement. I am quitting this blog. I have been blogging since June of 2015. I honestly do not know or believe I will be into this new game as much I was as Fantage. Blogging has been really hard for me this past year due to my struggle with anxiety and OCD and really it’s just not that fun anymore. I have literally nothing to say anymore. Maybe one day I will come back. But I want to focus on my real life and my real writing. No one really watches or read Fantage related stuff anymore since it is not here at the moment. Yes one of the reasons why I am quitting is because I have something that I want to try at least try for Fantage and this blog is too much for me to try to keep up. I have tried and it’s really not been successful. Much appreciation to all those who inspired me to make a blog since 2015 most of them quit but I will still put them down here:
I don’t know who else at the moment but thank you for your support throughout all these years.
y for so long. It’s almost time to say those dreaded words. But let’s save it for the next post. I want this post to start off with a warm Happy New Year! I wish the greatest year for all of you. Now let’s talk about my 2018. Honestly the one thing I remember in February is getting my best friend’s birthday date wrong. My OCD/anxiety got really bad about fall of 2017 and it basically tortured me all through 2018. But enough of that let’s get on with this!
March/April/May of 2018 I honestly do not remember much. It was such a bad year my mind has decided to erase most of it. But let me tell you what I do remember. Sometime during one of these months I got horribly sick. Correction my older sister got horribly sick. Me being the one person who catches everything got it almost two hours later. I posted the story I would put the link here but I don’t know how to anymore. What I do remember is my two dog’s birthdays in those two months and I made sure to be there on their birthdays and make them feel extra loved.
We were forced to go somewhere and when we were celebrating it we were all fine. Then later one of my older sisters gets sick. She is going to the hospital and I am alone in the house feeling fine. Then I start feeling the way a panic attack starts for me. I often get a queasy taste in my throat. Soon I found myself in the bathroom. I was also checking my blood sugar because I had dropped a few times. I was treating my low blood sugar and it wasn’t working. I did my glucose tablets, apple juice, ginger ale, and nothing stayed. Soon I joined my sister in the hospital with blood sugar of 33 and quite a bad stomach bug. I personally believe it was food poisoning.
Soon after that episode I found myself back in the hospital. Why? I blogged about this During a shower I slipped on shampoo and cut my right eyebrow. That was the first time I saw a bathtub full of red water. I had a full blown panic attack right then. But what else is new? I did have a full on panic attack in the hospital the entire time. Oh yes my brother and his wife had their baby I was having a full blown panic attack as always but I went. June/July/August I vaguely remember going to ESY and I really don’t remember it at all except celebrating my birthday and my friend Tafara’s birthday at Eatin’ Park the only reason I probably remember that is because I got to eat chicken nuggets, fries, and later a Smiley. I completely forgot about the fantage shut down.
September/October/November/December September of 2018 was pretty decent until a horrible thing happened in our family. We had to put down our blind beagle down and I took it pretty hard. Why? Let me tell you something. I was the one who had convinced my dad to get a beagle. It was me who started the whole journey. I played with him every chance I got and he was the one who made me extremely happy. I have two childhood dogs or had or at least grew up with childhood dogs and love them both. I have always considered them part as our family. Yes I am one of those people who believe animals are people too. Once we got our first dog I never left his side. Our beagle wasn’t always blind he started going blind around the same time my brother and his girlfriend (wife now) were having their wedding. I cried because I knew what that meant. My aunt chose to put him down because he was getting pneonmia. I probably spelled that wrong. RIP Chuckie a nutball beagle 11 years old 8-24-18. What’s sadder is that his birthday is fast approaching and he’s not here to celebrate it. On a lighter note the rest of the months basically went by in a whirl. I just remember constant anxiety, increasing my medicine constantly until around October it settled down. It peaked again and then stopped. It will peak at times but I feel better now much better than I ever felt basically in my entire life. Oh yes there was a shooting in my neighborhood on October 27 2018.
Now let’s get to 2019. I had a rough start to 2019 with a realization that it was the first year I didn’t have the Fantage Ball drop to go to. But I didn’t realize that until later. 2019 has been overall a great year. My New Year’s Resolutions:
Get back to the feeling that I had after I graduated from the OCD clinic and ignore it as much as I can.
Work on my writing.
These are the only two I have come up with. That’s enough for now! What’s your New Year’s resolutions?
Please ignore the extreme randomness of this post. It is Friday I had a half day I didn’t go to school at all and I have been home all day tired but excited so please excuse my totally hyperness! The point of this was to talk to you about “Fantage Legacy” or what is now casually just called Plan Z since no one really knows the new name except for the people who are working on it. This is being made to tell you about all the new Plan Z updates I have been getting which was many on social media like discord and Instagram. I have put links to Jimmy’s and Mason’s Instagram on my blogs somewhere before so if you are interested in following them on Instagram to get the updates fast please do! If I find the place where I can invite you to the Fantage community discord I will for that is also where they put their announcements! Yes, I’m sad to say what I said in the name of the post is at the bottom. I will not be too hyper random for most of this. Please read! Some of it you might find interesting! (Like my life is interesting hahah okay bye) Honestly why are you reading this? Just go to the bottom so I’m not wasting your time lool
I am sorry for not blogging very much. Yes that has been my beginning of each post for a while but not too much longer! I want to blog my usual blogging span in 2019! If you’ve been following my blog you know 2018 has been a rough year for me which is why I’m so pumped for 2018! A fresh start! We can wipe away all the bad things from 2019 and face the new year with excitement! To be honest I went into 2018 super excited and now I’m like ehh let’s just go to 2019. This year turned the wrong turn.
The first thing I am going to say is that I got an apartment! They had been building it for two years and I am happy to say I will be living alone in a new apartment by 2019! Let me just casually add that I will not be as messy as my family *cough* and that will lessen my anxiousness! Let me casually add again that my counselor agrees! I have so much to prove people wrong for and to be happy in my own apartment! Like my teachers are so SURE that I’m going to miss the bus so I can’t wait until I can show up on time ON the bus WITHOUT a nurse or ANYONE so I can proudly see my teacher’s jaws drop open.
Now some of you might be wondering what’s happening with the so called “New Fantage.” Some of you who don’t have Instagram or discord might not know what’s happening. All their updates are on their blog which is still named http://www.fantagelegacy.com even though Fantage Legacy got discontinued. They have been mercilessly working on this game for a long time and their recent post included a sneak peek of their new game.
Why the heck did they update this? I liked how it was. Anyone else?
Here is a sneak peek of their homepage or log in page I am guessing. It gives me a Fantage vibe even though it’s really not Fantage.
They said the logo was blurred out because it had their sites name and they are not ready to reveal it. They will be making a next post on their blog where everyone can join a live conference call to display and demonstrate their new project! Better click that follow button on their blog because you don’t want to miss it!
(Only if I don’t blog till then but I am determined to!)
The one thing that is most important is that my apologies once again for not posting! I have thought about this long and hard and I have decided I am going to take a break. Why? I stopped a few months ago because my anxiety was really bad but luckily this isn’t why I am stopping now! I am stopping because I am on my way to a new place for me to live! I am super pumped and ready! My anxiety is sure to be calmer once I am in my own place and living alone! I am stopping because I have to start packing my things for the new place. They have been working on it for a year and FINALLY it is almost done! As soon as this week is over I might be moving! IDK YET! I’m just happy and ready for it to happen!
Am I still vividly addicted to Fantage? YES. Am I still working on the project? YES. This project will take some time. We also have the new game Jimmy or mainly Mason are working on. They announced in the discord that they should have a testable beta version of their game in December 2018 but it could change. I do plan on blogging about it when it comes but for now I have nothing to blog. I made a new and improved Fantage discord server so here’s the link to it: https://discord.gg/ganQeWa.
I also want to be more active on Storybird and achieving more of writing. If you like to write or create things like I do this is the place for you! Just search: http://www.storybird.com and you’ll be there!
I meant to blog on the second week of October but I totally forgot! I was going to make it all about OCD and OCD awareness month but I actually had been blogging about it a lot longer before October! I don’t want to make everyone bored!
My anxiety has been down pretty good and my brother and his family are in town saying hello to everyone they haven’t seen! Just thought I’d give you an update!
Last Tuesday was crazy. My medicine decided to go pretty crazy on me. I had been feeling dizzy for a while when I would watch youtube or even move the room would start moving with me. Last week is when it almost was a emergency.
I had just stopped volunteering and I started to shake. Usually when I get sick that is one warning sign of me getting sick but it is also a normal thing for me to shake every day due to my blood sugar and anxiety. I was not stressed, I could breathe and that’s how I decided it wasn’t a panic attack. I immediately rushed over to my nurse and we looked at my blood sugar. I even tried to go on the computer but I was having trouble moving. I told my nurse I knew it was my medicine condition. I got my normal dose of emergency medicine if needed which definitely was needed. After we got back to my program my blood sugar was low. I had what I needed to have and just went through the rest of the day not feeling good.
My doctors thought I needed a check so we went to the hospital. They confirmed that I was finishing a virus. I was in and out the next day. The next day I was really tired because the hospital made me test and eat late. Each day I have been feeling better. I still get the dizziness sometimes but not as bad as it was on Tuesday.
I feel a lot better today just waiting for the hurricane to pass so we can have our warm fall! Now I’m off to get some water because I feel like I haven’t had some in years!
I used to have a favorite month which was a different month but I’m beginning to think October is my new favorite month. I just love waking up knowing at the end of the month I am going to see a bunch of little kids trick or treating, in costumes, and eating candy. I can’t trick or treat because my family told me I’m too old and I was beginning to feel strange trick or treating. But this year I want my house to look like we are celebrating Halloween because the past years it didn’t look like it and we got no visitors. When I was little my brother used to bring a fog machine out to the porch, put a monster face on, and scare the little kids. It was sad but funny.
My favorite holidays have always been Easter, Christmas, and Halloween. It would vary. Normally it would be whichever is closest but for me it’s whichever is the farthest away. PEACE